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So...you want to become a talk show host.
By: Walter Sabo
Why this was written...
Everyday, we get at least one phone call from a Jock who wants to become a talk show host. It takes a lot of time to coach a person through that process. This outlines the key thoughts and actions you will want to follow if you are considering a career change.
It doesn't answer everything, but if you get through this and STILL want to be a talk host, please call back.
The good news...
As you know, talk is the fastest growing format in America because it is the best business. It matches the demography of the country. It tolerates lots of spots. It sells like hell. The DEMAND for competent show hosts is overwhelming. Very few people can do it. There is a good reason for that and brings us to..
The dirty secret...
The job of a talk show host is not to talk to callers. The job of a talk show host is to GET callers. It is an unnatural act for a normal person with an actual life to pick up the phone and call a radio station. Inspiring someone to invest that kind of time and risk that sort of humiliation taxes the creativity of the best show hosts.
Don't believe me? Pick up the phone right now and call the on-air number of the talk station in your city. I bet you can ring right through---no busy signal.
A VISION OF HELL...FOR YOU:
Imagine you're doing overnights at a country station. There are no spots on the log. No news. The phone system is disconnected because it's being upgraded so there will be no phone calls. It's 2:14 AM. Suddenly the CD starts to die. Then another one. Finally, it becomes impossible play a song. You are looking at 4 hours of nothing but you having to talk live---with no assistance. Congratulations, now you can begin to feel what it's like to host a talk show. Remember, the job is to get callers.
You would be shocked at how often hosts have trouble doing that---big hosts at big stations in big cities. Throw in the fact that you will not be starting at a big city or a big station and the task of getting calls is harder. Those stations have fewer listeners. Maybe, if you're a genius, 2 % of the listenership ever calls any station in their entire life. Those liner cards might be sounding pretty good by now.
"I don't want to have to read any more liner cards, I want freedom." Most of the DJs calling say that that is why they want to do talk. That's the worst reason. If that's what you're thinking, then cue up the next CD. First, any good talk station has a format. A format with clocks, liner cards, rules about call length, call letter mention, cross promotion---the whole package. You have a major asset to offer talk PDs: You know how to implement format guidelines because of your work on music stations. The ability to execute a format is coveted in a potential talk show host. Announcing your lack of desire to "read more liners" while pitching a potential talk employer raises a red flag.
Wow, I've got all these things to say!
Good. Now what are you going to do for your third show?
Al Brady Law, the PD of stations such as KABC Los Angeles, WHDH Boston, and many others says that "Every jock has two great talk shows in them...then they're in trouble." You have been imagining all of the things you could say if you could---making mental notes. Well, that's about 8 hours of material. Then what?
"But, I'll have a producer to help me prepare !"
No you won't. That's only on Frasier. The so-called producers at talk stations are phone screeners. They pick up the phone before you do to make sure no one says "weenie" on the air. They don't come in with big ideas everyday---any day. And they won't get y ours of material fresh every day, all by yourself. That means your entire life will change.
Are you prepared to have your entire life be turned over to radio?
This is no small point. Ask yourself these questions....
Am I willing to move or do whatever is necessary to make my family totally secure? Unlisted phones, different names for the kids at school, alarm systems and sophisticated locks on my doors at home? If you are a good talk host, you will receive many threats to family and property. Are you ready for that?
For the other 21 hours a day, it is necessary to prep your show. That means you have to read what the audience reads, go to the movies, watch the TV show and come to work with WAYYYYY too much material. One host we know has 6 VCRs to tape everything and he watches it.
You are willing to lose all of your friends and the respect of your neighbors. That's because you will have to do the one thing that almost no DJ seems able to do:
Give your opinion. Think about every successful talk host you've heard---the really successful ones. You know, as a listener, exactly how they feel on any given subject. That's part of the fun. You know that because they say it clearly and they don't change their minds. Ever. Ever. Even when a person gives them new data, they don't change their minds! The show is radio wrestling. Two opponents: The host and the idea. In wrestling, the opponents don't change sides mid game. They don't start to like each other, that would be no fun to watch. It is no fun to listen to a host who gives both sides of an issue, has no strong opinion and changes his mind often. In fact, that is called Public Affairs. It gets no ratings. That's why it's on Sunday mornings. If you want to be on Sunday mornings, don't give your opinion. If you want to be a star, you have to feel an overwhelming compulsion to give your opinion and to not change it.
That means many people will think you're a jerk. In fact, everyone might think you're a jerk including your family. Your family may find the . Are you ready for that?
The failure to give clear opinions is why most hosts don't become stars. The willingness of many hosts to change their minds on the air is why most don't get big ratings.
Giving a strong opinion means giving all of your life to forming those opinions. Introspection. Lots and lots of homework. A whole new way of viewing everything. No one is going to hand you an opinion.
"I have very strong opinions about gun control." So. Guns, no guns. Abortion. Politics. Death penalty. Racism. Religion. It's been done to death. These are the subjects most jocks think are hot on talk, but they aren't. Those are good subjects for really old skewing talk stations.
The cool, younger ones want hosts who give their opinion on....
Best Brady, Male contraception, Melrose Place's season finale, How to get rid of in laws, TV characters from the past who were probably gay.
If you think that's fluff, then you have been spending too much time with some static-ridden AM radio and not enough time with the cool kids at the mall. Be a cool kid.
Flash: Puppets in trees.
We fear wacky agendas.At some point in interviews with many DJs we realize they are stuck on a theme. One subject seems to haunt them. Some strange little fact or trauma lives in their brain and they just MUST get on a talk station to tan the demon. If you have one big subject that you have just got to share with us, don't ever call us again. Go away. The agenda that wins is the one seeks ratings, ratings, ratings. That comes from entertainment, entertainment, entertainment. Did I say "inform" ? No, I didn't.
Hey, talk like a normal person.
Normal people...........................pause.....................................breath.
They don't have some bizarre "dead air alarm" in their head. The joke among major PDs is "Beware the 5th minute!" That's the DJ "Wall." 5 minutes without interruption is the longest most people have ever talked on the air before doing a talk show. We can hear it in the voice, they get lost. So, to be a talk sh to the way you were taught to speak---like a normal person. JUST TALK. Dead air is your friend. Pauses are dramatic. Pauses..............................suck a listener in. Think about Paul Harvey or Howard Stern or Casey Kasem. Think how often they pause and breath and how dramatic that can be. Listeners don't speak DJ and they don't understand DJ---it's a dialect not taught in school. Talking like a DJ sounds foolish on a talk station. Pace yourself.
"I'll finally get to interview..."
No you won't. Guests are best left to those who are skilled interviewers. You have heard big hosts interviewing big guests and they are good at it. Stern is a master of it. But know what you know. You probably aren't a good interviewer because you probably haven't done many. Even an experienced talk show host who is great on the phones may have trouble with guests. Guests are a big problem because: 1. They are hard to get and you could spend a day getting one guest and not doing other show prep. 2. Once you've got the guest you will probably feel obligated to keep him on the air long after he should have left. Jay Leno has the biggest names on the planet on for 8 minutes. That's because that's all they have to say. 3. It busts the bond between you and the audience. 4. You will probably fawn over the guest and you will sound like a big loser.
What should I put on a CD if I've never done talk?
Tell a story. A compelling, interesting story. Just sit in a production room and tell a story. Most people can't. Give it a shot.
What do you want on a tape if I have done talk?
1. A straight one hour air check. Don't even edit the commercials. Edit nothing.
2. Let us hear a strong, unchanging opinion.
3. If the topic is national politics, abortion, gun control, death penalty, religion, race, we have no interest. If the topics are movies, TV, personal relationships, your strong personal feelings, stuff about the workplace---things people under 90 talk about, we'd LOVE to hear your tape.
4. The label should be typed with your name it was recorded at, city, date of recording, your phone number. You'd be shocked at the handwritten labels and scrawls we've seen. Make sure you don't send a cover letter on the stationery of your current employer. That stationery is for them to do their business. Using it puts you in the dunce category. For gosh sakes go to the stationery store and order yourself some proper stationery. This is your representation of yourself to the world.
Expect a response. Anyone worth working for owes you a letter or a phone call. From a time standpoint that's not always possible... BUT They certainly should take your phone call once. If they don't do any of those, they are a jerk. Don't work for them.
Thanks for your inquiry and good luck.
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